Runner Feature: Rose O’Neill on overcoming adversity

Rose O’Neill has a very inspiring story to share. Her story includes overcoming domestic abuse and adversity that came with losing her leg. I first connected with Rose through the Goddess Run where I had the pleasure of meeting her in person.

YANA: Tell me a bit about yourself?

ROSE: My name is Rose O’Neill. I am a domestic abuse survivor and a lower leg amputee (leg loss due to domestic violence) and I live with a host of chronic illnesses that are some days debilitating, and pushing forward is the only way to go. (Chronic pain, chronic fatigue, CPRS – complex regional pain syndrome, fibromyalgia).

Some days 30kms is an amazing feat – which I am up to now; while some days 1 km is a joyful miracle. I believe I have not been placed on earth to be mundane. Many say I go to extremes with what I do in how far I push my body but I say how uncomfortable are you actually willing to get for what you dream of? How hard are you willing to work? Will you regularly step outside of your comfort zones? I am so focused and driven to succeed. Complacency is not a word I get along with.

Do your sacrifices match your desires? My goals of ultras are never out of my sights and I will once again run long distance, on one leg and with a smile. This year I am running Walk In the Park Ultra, Born to Run Ultra, Emperors Mountain Challenge and the Goddess Run. The strength we have defines the choices we make, both good and bad. If we choose to keep our focus on the hurt, we aren’t focused on taking control of our lives, or on living our lives. If we blame negative circumstances for the place we are in our lives, we are giving up all responsibility and control.

Awful things happen. Dreadful circumstances or tragedies will affect most of our lives at some point. It’s okay to cry and feel sorry for yourself and your circumstances, mope around or get really damn angry. Bad things do happen, how we respond to them defines our character and the quality of our lives. One could choose sadness and to remain within its known embrace or one could choose to rise from the pain no matter how wobbly, and hold your head high. These are all choices. I choose life, it is for living.

YANA: You have a prosthetic leg, tell us how did the injury happen?

ROSE: I ended up getting a prosthetic lower leg in 2019 as a direct result of domestic violence in my first marriage. My body gave out on me and I was rushed in for emergency surgery with a diagnosis of Cauda Equina – compression of the lower back nerve roots due to in my case a history of trauma. During emergency surgery my nerve bundle was nicked causing severe nerve damage to my right leg. Upon waking, I was told the damage was so serious I would never walk again.

After 11 months in the hospital, I walked out. Upon release from the hospital, I then got a very inconsequential cut on my heel. Due to the nerve damage sustained it wouldn’t heal, opening larger and deeper. For 4 years I fought to heal this wound that just got worse and worse. Eventually for the last two years or so the wound was to the bone, nurses were coming to my house daily to change dressings. Multiple surgeries and medical procedures did nothing to help. Then, I developed 4 bone infections simultaneously. I told the doctor it was time to amputate. I wanted my life back if at all possible. We were not sure if the amputation would heal, if it then reached my hip and wasn’t healed I was out of options. However, I was taking control and choosing between how I was going to die or possibly live, not anyone else so I rolled the dice and won so much more than I lost in my leg.

On July 4, 2019, my lower leg was amputated and I once again had to relearn to walk – the third times the charm. The EC was my first challenge as a woman whom the town of Tumbler Ridge believed in. I finished last and there were still so many that stayed to congratulate me. I continued to race and improve my time proudly 3 more times afterwards. In consecutive years. This is a milestone race for me in so many ways, I received my permanent bib for 5 years, as well as compete in an extremely challenging race as a lower leg amputee.

The restarting in life or this race as an adaptive athlete doesn’t phase me much. There will be demons, physically and mentally telling me that I will not succeed. Being stronger than those voices is the only way forward. So, for me – crossing the finishing line will be beyond explanation. Starting will be terrifying. Finishing will be a gift. I know the people are supportive and so amazing, I cannot think of a better race to attempt for my first mountain race back as an adaptive athlete.

My thoughts are simply that when you face a major challenge, be grateful for it. Many people will see something difficult as a bad thing. If something goes wrong, it’s a reason to complain, it’s a time of self-pity. That won’t get you anywhere. Instead, learn to be grateful for the challenge — it’s an opportunity to grow, to learn, to get better at something.

When asked why I am not envious of the other runners here. Well…envy prompts one to feel inadequate, incomplete, impotent and missing out and I am none of that! Melting envy with the goal of understanding and gratitude is the vision. While some things might be out of our control, much of what happens is based on our thoughts, emotions and behaviors, and are largely a conditional response to our focus.

Gratitude is a way for people to appreciate what they have instead of always reaching for something new in the hopes it will make them happier, or thinking they can’t feel satisfied until every physical and material need is met. Gratitude helps people refocus on what they have instead of what they lack. I lack nothing! I am whole. I am happy and I am perfect exactly as I am. So while I used to dance in the light with two legs; I appreciate my ability to see clearer in the dark dancing with one. Perspective is EVERYTHING!

YANA: How long did it take you after the injury to be able to run again?

ROSE: I have only been walking since 2020. Started running in 2021 and still have a long way to go. I will not let this stop me. Big dreams. Bigger goals. Huge steps to get there. Smiling and truly grateful to be alive.

YANA: What advice do you have for amputees who want to live life to the fullest?

ROSE: Do not let excuses be your downfall. Get out of your own way! There are so many people that will tell you that you cannot do something however you hold the power over what you accomplish. There are only limits to what you can do if those are set in place by you.

YANA: What has helped your mental health the most as you went through that challenging time?

ROSE: Love yourself, accept yourself, forgive yourself, and be good to yourself. Love the person you see in the mirror who has been through hell and back, survived and kept going. You are still standing! Take the time to reflect on how grateful you are for absolutely everything you still have! Limb loss does not define you, your attitude does.

YANA: What advice do you have for others who may be going through a challenging time?

ROSE: There is a cost to every choice you make, every decision in the road you travel, in your walk of grace. You can make a huge difference in a person’s life (and by extension your own) by using consideration and care in your interactions with others. Your gentleness to another may be the best thing to happen in another day. Every once in a while, an event happens that can change your perspective if you allow it. Do not accept your circumstances if you are not happy where you are at. Shape your world into what you want it to become. It takes work, dedication to your goals, dreams and desires. Keep showing up for yourself, each and every day is easier said then done at times. Some days are just hard; there is always hope in tomorrow. Whatever you do, do not become stagnant in the belief you have in yourself. If you are shaken in that belief, look at how far you have traveled. Your journey is an inspiration to others whether you realize it or not. Keep going! You’ve got this! If you need support, reach out. People will be there, to stand beside you and with you if you allow them. You are never as alone as you may feel.

If you are inspired by Rose’s story, please share it to raise awareness of domestic abuse. Rose is very strong to share her story and for that I admire her.

Please support Rose and her journey by following her on Instagram and Strava.

If there is another runner you would like me to interview, please contact me here.